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The original was posted on /r/tucson by /u/sirhimel on 2023-11-04 00:39:56.
My wife and I moved here at the beginning of September from Alaska (I’m originally from here, but my wife is not) and the first day we got here my wife asks me “who is this Rafi guy I see everywhere?!?”. Since then we’ve been making Chuck Norris style Rafi Jokes. Here are a few that I remember:
Rafi can hold the judge in contempt
Rafi once wrote an essay on ethics, that essay is now known as the Bill of Rights
Rafi can fix a hung jury
Rafi tells the DA who he can prosecute
Rafi gives his opening statements in latin
Chuck Norris checks for Rafi under his bed
Rafi’s middle name is Exculpatory Evidence
EULAs have to accept Rafi
Rafi can get the judge to plead guilty
How does Rafi like his water? Just-ice
Jurisprudence is hereby the study of Rafi
Rafi can give a verbal deposition in braille (or sign language)
Rafi’s nickname is Briefcase, because all his cases are brief
There are no objections for Rafi
Rafi *IS* precedent
Rafi decides what is admissible
Rafi is latin for Amicus curiae
Rafi has never lost an appeal, because he has never needed one
Rafi ignores Discovery, because he already knows
Rafi can cause a mistrial by sneezing
Let’s see if we can come up with some new ones!