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The original was posted on /r/tucson by /u/sirhimel on 2023-11-04 00:39:56.

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My wife and I moved here at the beginning of September from Alaska (I’m originally from here, but my wife is not) and the first day we got here my wife asks me “who is this Rafi guy I see everywhere?!?”. Since then we’ve been making Chuck Norris style Rafi Jokes. Here are a few that I remember:

Rafi can hold the judge in contempt

Rafi once wrote an essay on ethics, that essay is now known as the Bill of Rights

Rafi can fix a hung jury

Rafi tells the DA who he can prosecute

Rafi gives his opening statements in latin

Chuck Norris checks for Rafi under his bed

Rafi’s middle name is Exculpatory Evidence

EULAs have to accept Rafi

Rafi can get the judge to plead guilty

How does Rafi like his water? Just-ice

Jurisprudence is hereby the study of Rafi

Rafi can give a verbal deposition in braille (or sign language)

Rafi’s nickname is Briefcase, because all his cases are brief

There are no objections for Rafi

Rafi *IS* precedent

Rafi decides what is admissible

Rafi is latin for Amicus curiae

Rafi has never lost an appeal, because he has never needed one

Rafi ignores Discovery, because he already knows

Rafi can cause a mistrial by sneezing

Let’s see if we can come up with some new ones!