**I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is still** [Ok-Jelly-6298](https://www.reddit.com/user/Ok-Jelly-6298/). She posted in...
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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/LucyAriaRose on 2025-10-09 04:00:10+00:00.

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is still Ok-Jelly-6298. She posted in r/AmIOverreacting, r/relationship_advice and her own page.

Previous BORU’s here, here and here. **New Update marked with ******* Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77, u/Jcat49er and r/RushiiSushi13 for letting me know about the update!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. This is a long post.

Trigger Warning: possible mental breakdown; withholding a child as leverage toward the other parent; mental breakdown; institutionalization

Mood Spoiler: good and bad things

Original Post: April 11, 2025

Hi Reddit. I’m F25 and I’m honestly at my breaking point with this one. I need outside perspective because my entire family is acting like I’m Hitler for standing my ground.

So, I (25F) am a student software developer and a pretty serious PC gamer in my free time. I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment that I’ve spent years making cozy and functional. I saved up for a long time to build my dream PC setup … triple monitors, custom mechanical keyboard, ergonomic chair, the works. Altogether, my rig is worth a bit over $2,000, and I take care of it like it’s a damn child.

Last weekend, my older sister (30F) asked if she could crash at my place for one night because her apartment was being fumigated, and her husband was out of town. She has a 3-year-old son, Max, who’s… let’s say “spirited.” I love him, but he’s a little chaos goblin. I hesitated, but she swore she’d keep an eye on him and that it’d just be for one night.

They show up Saturday afternoon, and immediately it’s clear she wasn’t kidding about Max being a handful. Within ten minutes of arriving, he’d pulled four books off my shelf, thrown my houseplants on the floor, and spilled juice on my area rug. I tried to stay chill, he’s three, I get it … but I asked my sister politely to please keep him out of my office, where my PC setup is.

She rolls her eyes and goes, “He’s just exploring, he’s curious, it’s normal.” But she closes the office door anyway.

Cut to Sunday morning. I wake up to screaming. Max had apparently woken up before his mom, managed to open the office door, and decided my setup was his new jungle gym.

He pulled down one of my monitors, cracking the screen. He stuck crackers into the PC tower’s ventilation slots (I’m not kidding), yanked out my keyboard’s keycaps, and had colored on my chair with permanent marker. The cherry on top? He poured apple juice INTO the tower. INTO IT.

When I tell you I went silent… I mean dead silent. My sister comes in, sees the damage, and just says, “Oh nooo,” in this incredibly flat tone, like someone knocked over a cup of coffee. I start freaking out, and she has the AUDACITY to say, “You should’ve baby-proofed the room if it was that important to you.”

I lost it. I told her that 1) she KNEW he wasn’t supposed to be in there, 2) this is my space, not a damn daycare, and 3) baby-proofing a $2,000 gaming setup is not a standard requirement for adults living alone.

She told me to “calm down” and said that “he’s just a kid, and stuff is replaceable.” I told her she could replace it then. She said she didn’t have the money right now, but maybe in a few months she could give me a few hundred. I told her that wasn’t acceptable and that she needed to take full responsibility.

She left in a huff and now my whole family is blowing up my phone. My mom says I’m being “materialistic” and should understand that my nephew didn’t mean it. My dad said I should’ve “locked the door” if it was that important. My brother actually said, “Why do you even need three monitors anyway? That’s kind of overkill.”

I’ve filed a claim with my insurance but there’s no guarantee it’ll be covered since it was technically “guest damage.” I also told her that if she does not pay up, I’ll take her to court for what happened.

Now I’m getting texts from my sister demanding an apology for “blaming her kid for being curious.” I told her I’d drop it if she covered the cost of repairs and replacements … or at least met me halfway … and she BLOCKED me.

So… Am I overreacting if I take my sister to court over this?

UPDATE: Wow. Just wow. Four hours later, I wake up from my nap to this. Thank you guys, it’ll take a bit for me to read all of this.

My sister still has not unblocked me, but her husband reached out to find out what happened. I’m sorry I don’t have more to tell yet, but I’ll update again when I do. Seriously, thanks for the insights everyone. My head is a lot clearer now ❤️

Update 2 (Same Post): Another 4 hours later

UPDATE2: Hey all. My sister’s husband reached out as mentioned earlier, and we’re working out a solution if possible. He’s been really understanding as have all of you.

Also, to clarify the office situation: my one-bedroom apartment is on the smaller side (33m2/355sq ft?), so the landlord converted an old ex-clothes cabinet into a makeshift ’office.’ It’s weird, but the building is from the 40s, and ig they had to get creative with the space with an old tenant or something. So its living room (sister and her kid slept there) + kitchen (i slept there) + the ’office.’

Thanks for all the support. And the award. I really don’t have the words for how nice people have been in both DMs and the comments. ❤️‍🩹

Some of OOP’s Comments:

OOP responds to one of the top comments:

OOP: I really appreciate your comment, I feel as if you nailed exactly how I’ve been feeling but couldn’t articulate in the moment.

It’s comforting to know I’m not totally off-base here. I will need to see what I’m willing to do with this situation, I don’t want to lose my family, but I don’t want to start begging to be heard either.

Thank you. ❤️

Going no contact:

Yeah, I’m not ready to go full no contact right now, but I really appreciate your perspective.

It’s definitely something I’ll keep in mind if things keep escalating and no one starts showing even a little respect for my boundaries.

I just want accountability, not drama. But if they keep pushing, I won’t hesitate to step back. I don’t think I want to know my family if they can’t appreciate the work I put into my hobbies.

Thanks for the insight. ❤️

Commenter (downvoted): Questions -

  1. does your office door lock, if so why wasn’t it locked?
  2. how was this unattended 3 year old able to get his hands on crackers & apple juice in an apartment that he is presumably not familiar with? Why were these items so easy for him to get to?
  3. if you knew in advance that he & your sister were coming, why wouldn’t you make any effort to either secure delicate/important items or move them somewhere he can’t reach?

OOP: 1. The “office” is a converted clothes closet. The apartment’s from the 40s and has a weird layout. There’s no lock on the door, the door is just a heavy old one. Tbh I’ve been wondering if my sister might have opened it for him. I just don’t get why??? 2. The crackers and juice weren’t mine, sister brought them. I had no idea he had access to them during the night until after the fact. 3. I didn’t get much notice. I saw her message around 10AM Saturday, and they arrived around 2PM. My place was a mess, so I spent most of that time cleaning before they came by. In hindsight, yeah, I should’ve been more cautious with my setup, but it didn’t even cross my mind that anything like this would happen as I thought the office area was inaccessible to him. What he did pull off of the shelves was moved higher up and out of reach and in an area where he could be kept an eye on.

Update Post: April 16, 2025 (5 days later)

Hey again.

Just wanted to post a quick update since it’s been a little under a week and a few people asked what happened next. Things are better, pretty fucking weird, and still ongoing, but here’s where we’re at.

Last Saturday, my brother-in-law (BIL) came over to check out the damage himself. He actually brought Max (toddler) with him, which I was almost livid about at first, but he had a reason. He asked Max to try opening the office/closet door. The kid couldn’t do it. The door was too heavy for him.

You probably can guess where this is going. :=)

BIL offered to take my PC to the store that originally built it for me, just to see what was fixable. I agreed, but asked for something in writing just so I had some peace of mind. We put together a little agreement…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1o1w84c/final_update_aio_for_threatening_to_take_my/

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.comMEnglish
    1·
    2 days ago

    Title: My [25F] sister [30F] is spiraling but I don’t know how or if I should help.

    A few weeks ago, I made a post (not here) about how my sister’s toddler [3M] almost destroyed my PC setup. Long story short, she and her son were staying with me for one night, he got into my office, and the whole setup got wrecked with juice and cracker bits shoved into the tower. The situation was awful, and when I asked my sister for help covering the damage, she made an excuse and blamed me instead.

    It became whole family drama. My sister blocked me and acted like the whole thing was my fault, but her husband (my BIL) reached out on his own. He checked the damage himself, helped take the PC in for repairs, and ended up covering the costs because he was genuinely embarrassed by the way she acted. He even started questioning whether their toddler could have done that much damage on his own, especially after the kid couldn’t even open the door by himself. My BIL thought maybe my sister left it open or did something herself.

    Within a week of that, my BIL confronted her and well, she kicked him out of the house. Like, full-on, told him to get the hell out, packed up his things, dumped them and left them by the curb like he was a stray dog. He told me she screamed that he was “betraying her” and “taking the side of that fucking Reddit bitch,” meaning me. She also apparently accused him of conspiring and cheating on her with me to “humiliate her publicly,” which… What???

    She hasn’t let him see their kid since. No visits. No phone calls. She’s gone full black hole mode and is completely unreachable, threatening cops if he goes near. She’s blocked me, my brother, even some extended family, and is only talking to our parents, who are still enabling her but I think its only so they can keep Max at arm’s lenght.

    Meanwhile, I’m hearing rumors she’s been telling people I’m unhinged, psychotic, and that I made the whole thing up. She told one of our cousins that I “lured” her kid into the office like some kind of trap or setup.

    I don’t know if this is postpartum-related, or if something snapped, or if she’s just always been this vindictive and I didn’t want to see it. But I’m scared. Scared for her kid. Scared for her husband. And yeah I’m also scared for myself, because if she’s willing to ruin her whole marriage and turn the family against me just to protect a lie…?

    My parents want to keep it under wraps, but I know my BIL wants to get her help. I want to get her help too, but I don’t know where to start or what to do.

    What can I start with to possibly push her towards someone who can help her out? Has someone here dealt with a situation like this before? I feel helpless, as I know she is an adult and has free-will but I fear for her safety and my nephew’s safety as well…

    My BIL voiced wanting to divorce her and told my parents he will get his son whether they approve or not. His side of the family is furious with mine and I’ve no idea where I stand because yeah, I guess I started this.

    Is this salvageable? If so, how? What can I do? Who can I contact within the states…? Is there anything I can do even? Does anyone know?

    Top Comments:

    LhasaApsoSmile: I think your parents need to talk to her because this is crazy. The kid did what 3 yo’s do but she failed as a mother by not minding him. Your BIL stepped up to fix it. But her reaction is nuts. There has to be more here. I think your parents are in a better place to figure out what is going on.

    Update Post 3: June 25, 2025 (over 1.5 months from previous post, 2.5 from OG)

    Hello everyone,

    It’s been a while, so I didn’t want to post this on AIO, but for those still interested in my situation, here’s an update. :)

    The good news first:

    My PC is fully functional again. The store was able to recover it! My nephew is now in a safe and stable environment with my brother-in-law. Unfortunately, there have also been some difficult developments:

    My brother-in-law is currently in the process of separating from my sister. It seems I’ve essentially been disowned by my mother, and now, it appears, by my father as well. The only one still in contact with me is my brother. Thank you to those who have checked in or supported me during all this. It truly means a lot.

    OOP’s Comments:

    Commenter: Good to hear things are fixed with th pc now, but that’s awful that you’ve been disowned by your parents. Why did they do that? Unless I’m remembering wrong, they were only in contact with her to have access to their grandkid.

    Sounds like you’re in the middle of a lot right not so I won’t push, but I wish you luck. Just know that people are on your side and are praying for you 🙏

    OOP: Thank you! I am very happy to hear that. My parents have unfortunately been swayed by my sister’s lies. I guess I can say that she is of the mind that BIL was cheating on her with me and that we want to “steal her son.” I am still trying to cope with what has happened (poorly, but work and studies keep me busy thankfully…) and to clear the air. There is a lot happening as you guessed, but I’ll give out more updates after everything settles down. Right now I’m just taking it one day at a time.

    Commenter: I’m glad your nephew is safe! Try to keep that connection - he’ll appreciate it in the future.

    I wish you the best of luck with the rest of the family. It’s not your fault & you need to work to accept that. Maybe find a therapist to talk this thru with? You need to protect your mental health. I’m also a younger sister & I took on way too much of trying to fix things when I was your age.

    OOP: Thank you for the advice! Therapy hadn’t even crossed my mind… I’ll look into it for sure!

    • Spacehooks@reddthat.comMEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      New Update *****Final Update Post: October 2, 2025 (3.5 months later, 6 from OG post)*****

      Hey everyone. This is the final update to my posts on r/AmIOverreacting :

      AIO for threatening to take my sister to court after her toddler destroyed my $2,000 gaming setup because she said I should’ve “baby-proofed my apartment”? [UPDATE] AIO for threatening to take my sister to court after her toddler destroyed my $2,000 gaming setup because she said I should’ve “baby-proofed my apartment”? It’s been a long while since I last posted, and honestly I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give another update at all. A lot has happened over the past six months, some of it good, some of it really heavy, and some of it that I’m still struggling to process. But I know a lot of you followed the whole thing from the beginning and my direct messages have been full of so many awesome, supportive people, I feel as if I owe all of you a final update before letting this matter go.

      First, the positives: My PC is alive and well and has been for a while. The shop did a miracle job restoring it and it’s running beautifully again. It almost feels symbolic now, like after everything blew up in my life, at least this one thing that mattered to me is still standing. xd

      I’ve also gotten closer to my brother-in-law (well, ex-BIL now, I guess, though it feels weird to call him that since he’s still family to me). He has full custody of my nephew, and that little kid is thriving. He’s calmer, happier, and honestly just a joy to be around in ways I didn’t even realize before. And he turned four after all the court stuff ended, so we could have his birthday in peace!!! :)

      My BIL has his own family helping him, and I’ve been pitching in too whenever I can. It’s exhausting at times, but I don’t regret a second of it. My nephew deserves stability, and my BIL deserves support after everything he’s had to go through. Watching him step up as a single dad has been inspiring.

      Now for the complicated part: my family.

      When things first went down, my parents were still on my sister’s side, and I was basically the black sheep. But something happened during the legal proceedings that made them realize she wasn’t well and that I hadn’t been exaggerating about any of it. For the first time in what feels like forever, they stopped defending her blindly. They actually reached out to me, apologized, and admitted they’d been wrong… well, kind of. But I couldn’t be asked to escalate it again. It’s been slow, but they’ve been trying to rebuild things with me. Part of me resents that it took them this much to finally see the truth, but I’m also relieved not to be completely estranged from my parents anymore. I’m still trying to decide what kind of a relationship they deserve to have with me after all of this.

      As for my sister…

      I don’t even know how to start. During the custody battle, she completely broke down. A lot of stuff came out, including the fact that she had broken and damaged other people’s things in the past (friends, her coworker’s stuff), intentionally. She admitted she did it because, in her words, BIL “owed her more” as the mother of their child, and destroying things was her way of “making him notice her.”

      She also said something else that stuck with me: that when she broke things, she felt powerful. She said people underestimated her, ignored her, treated her like she was just “a mom.” But when she destroyed something, she knew she couldn’t be ignored. It forced people to react, and it sure did. I know some of the people witnessing this in real time still pity her, which… I don’t know how to feel about it.

      Still, it explains so much of her behavior, not just with the PC, but with her marriage, with our family and how she’s spiraled. She wanted to feel like she mattered, but instead of asking for help in a healthy way or seeking support, she turned to control and destruction. And when that wasn’t enough, she escalated.

      Writing that out makes me feel so sad, honestly. It’s like everything I suspected about the PC wasn’t just a suspicion. And to think all of this could have been avoided if she sought help or accepted going to couple’s therapy properly. Apparently my BIL had suggested it a few times to her, but she declined.

      After she lost custody of my nephew, things spiraled fast. She had a complete breakdown, and long story short, she’s now in jail awaiting transfer to a psychiatric facility. I don’t want to go into every detail, but it’s safe to say it’ll be a long time before I see her again. Or want to see her again.

      And here’s the part I can’t quite make peace with: I feel bad for her.

      I know that might sound crazy after everything she put me through, after how she tore our family apart, and after what she did to her own son. But she’s still my sister. There’s this ache I can’t quite get rid of, because I don’t know if the person she is now is who she always was, or if something in her just snapped along the way. I look back on our childhood and teenage years and wonder if there were signs that I missed, if there was some pattern of behavior I brushed off as moodiness or sibling rivalry that was actually something worse.

      What complicates those feelings even more is everything that happened after my posts started spreading. I never expected them to blow up the way they did. I just wanted an outside perspective because my whole family was gaslighting me, making me feel insane for protecting my own belongings. And then, suddenly, it was everywhere. On Twitter, YouTube, Tiktok, even some news article was made about it. Someone tagged me to let me know that Smosh had even featured my story, which was surreal and honestly sort of humiliating in its own way. (Even though being noticed was kind of cool, I guess?)

      Strangers were debating my family like it was some kind of reality TV show, and I had no control over it. At first, I was grateful for the validation, but over time, it started to eat away at my conscience. Keeping my posts public turned out to be a mistake.

      I know hindsight is 20/20, but I regret not locking them down sooner. By the time BIL’s lawyer told us it would be best to hide everything, the damage had already been done. My sister had already seen the comments and the full force of the internet turned against her. And she hyperfixated on it.

      • Spacehooks@reddthat.comMEnglish
        1·
        2 days ago

        That is not just me speculating either, one of our cousins told me she would rant constantly about it during the legal proceedings, always bringing it back to the posts and how I had “publicly humiliated her.” Apparently, she would spend hours scrolling, trying to dig up my posts, looking for new comments, even after I hid them. It was like pouring salt in a wound, and she couldn’t stop picking at it.

        I keep asking myself if I made things worse by letting it all stay up as long as it did. If I gave her more ammunition for her paranoia orr if I pushed her further toward the breakdown that ended with her losing everything. Part of me feels like I failed her, like maybe if I had been more careful, she wouldn’t have spiraled so badly. But then another part of me reminds myself that it wasn’t the internet that broke her, it was something already inside her. The posts didn’t cause her to smash my PC, or to lash out at BIL, or to neglect her own child. Those were choices she made long before Reddit ever came into the picture.

        I realize there’s no point in deleting them. Even if I scrubbed my entire account clean, the internet never forgets. Copies are out there somewhere, archived and dissected on forums I’ll never even see. I can’t control that, no matter how much I might want to. What I can control is how I move forward, how I take care of myself, my nephew, and the family I still have.

        The truth is, moving forward has been a mixed bag. On one hand, my daily life feels lighter without the constant chaos of my sister’s presence. I’m not coming home to find something broken, I’m not waking up to accusatory texts, and I’m not walking on eggshells waiting for the next outburst. That alone has been a kind of freedom I didn’t realize how badly I needed. On the other hand, there’s this strange emptiness where she used to be. Even if her presence was destructive, she was still there, part of the fabric of my family, and now there’s just this jagged hole.

        My nephew asks about her sometimes. He doesn’t fully understand what happened, of course. He just knows “mommy is sick” and can’t take care of him right now. BIL and I try to keep our answers simple, but the truth is, I don’t know what kind of relationship, if any, he’ll be able to have with her in the future. I think about that a lot, because no matter how much I’ve been hurt by her, I can’t help but imagine what it’ll feel like for him one day when he’s old enough to learn the truth. How do you explain to a child that their mother did what my sister has done? How can it ever make sense to him? I don’t know what to do when the day comes that either BIL or I have to explain what happened.

        As for me, I’ve been in therapy since all of this started (recommended by some of the lovely people in the comments and in my direct messages, thank you.) At first, it was just a way to vent, but it’s become essential, to be honest. My therapist keeps reminding me that none of this is my fault and that my sister’s choices were her own, that I didn’t “ruin her life” by posting about the PC, and that it’s not my job to fix her. I hope to one day believe everything that my therapist is telling me.

        As for my sister, I don’t know what the future holds for her, or if she’ll ever get better.

        But if anyone else has problems like this, maybe be a bit more careful than I was. I spent the last months worrying I’d get charged with something for causing emotional turmoil over a Reddit post.

        On a positive note, the stress caused me to get reconnected with an old hobby, retro electronics! Did you know the 3DS is considered retro now? I didn’t! I feel old! I’m the same age as Pokemon Crystal!!!

        Anyways, from now on I will be focusing on graduating and working to help my BIL pay off the debt that accumulated during the legal proceedings/investigation. But now that it’s over, it’s nice to know that at least for the coming months, things should be peaceful for me and those who matter the most to me. :)

        Thank you to everyone who followed this from the beginning. ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

        Some of OOP’s Comments:

        Commenter: The only thing I can tell you is that you’re not wrong for feeling bad for your sister. This is not advice that you should forgive her, to be clear. But she was (and is, debatably!) an important part of your life, feeling bad for her is normal empathy for your loved ones. I hope she finds a way to process her mental issues and is able to authentically and meaningfully make amends to you and your family.

        Regarding posting everything online: I mean, yeah, with the benefit of hindsight, it probably would have been better to delete the posts as soon as you got the insight you needed, but that seal is already long-since broken. Deleting at this point is no good, given how many times it’s been reposted/commentated on.

        OOP: Thank you, you really hit the nail on the head. I’m not ready to forgive, but I can still feel for her. It’s a weird, heavy mix of emotions. I appreciate your thoughtful words and hope for healing, however long it takes. :)

        Commenter: What an update ! […] And did you ever find out if your nephew actually touched your PC, or it was all done by your sister (the crackers, apple juice…) ?

        OOP: Yes, I guess Reddit really does love a “saga” like this. And yes, all the crackers and juice were 100% my sister. -_- …Thank you for your kind words!

        Commenter: […] Also, don’t feel bad about blogging about this. It may have added fuel to your sister’s struggle…but if you hadn’t either (a) she would have found something else to be paranoid about/obsess over (as is common in mental health issues) or (b) may have been able to continue sweeping her issues under the rug and never gotten the help she needs.

        OOP: That’s a really thoughtful perspective. You’re right, if it hadn’t been the posts, it might’ve been something else. I appreciate the reassurance and your kindness. Thank you!

        Therapy for nephew and forgive yourself:

        I agree, therapy has already helped me a lot, and I’m looking into it for my nephew too. (I believe my BIL may have been recommended something after the court case for custody ended?) Thank you for the reminder to forgive myself, that part is a work in progress. I’ll try to update down the road if things shift more, maybe in a few years at least. I’m a bit over the internet right now. xd

        Commenter: […]Side Note: Out of curiosity – what is the PC that you got and the monitors? (Asking as a person who is looking for a gaming PC)

        OOP: There’s something really comforting in what you shared, thank you. Sibling dynamics can be a lot. My PC is a custom build, but here are the parts its made of. (It may be long x_@) Case: be quiet! Pure Base 500DX Case Fans: ARCTIC P12 PWM PST A-RGB 0dB RAM: Corsair Vengeance RGB 32GB (2 x 16GB) Storage: Kingston 2TB NV2 PCIe 4.0 NVMe SSD Power Supply: Asus TUF Gaming 850W Motherboard: Asus PRIME Z790-P WIFI CPU Cooler: ARCTIC Freezer 36 A-RGB Graphics Card: Asus GeForce RTX 4060 Ti ProArt OC Edition 8GB GDDR6 Processor: Intel Core i7-13700K – LGA1700, 16-core (8P+8E), 3.4GHz Base Clock, 30MB Note for this one (the processor) ^^ I don’t recommend getting 13th-14th gen Intel processors, there’s a running BIOS issue that was discovered last year and the one I have needed to be fixed. (The store let me know of it while my computer was being fixed and they updated my BIOS for me.) <_< Honestly I don’t recommend Intel Processors in general. Also, my computer is 1,5 years old (it runs very nicely right now, but still) and I am not a professional. But it has not blown up! And I think that’s pretty good. :3 Thanks again for the kind words!

        Commenter: What did you sister do to end up in jail?

        OOP: I’m not comfortable sharing specifics about that online, but I can say it was very serious. I understand if people doubt me, but my priority is keeping my family’s privacy protected. Thank you for understanding.

        Editor’s note: I did message OOP a couple of months ago (after the BORU’s had been up for awhile) to see if she wanted me to take the original BORU’s down, but didn’t receive a response. However, she has now made her original posts visible to everyone again in the last few days, so seems to be ok with them being out there again.